New Release/Arc Review I Bite She Sucks by Penelope Bloom

Description …. 

I threw a paper airplane love note from my window. 

Mistake number one. 

I aimed it at a gorgeous stranger and put my address on it. 

Mistake number two.

Yep. You guessed it. I missed and hit a werewolf instead.

The jury is still out on whether that one was a mistake.

Next thing I knew, a large angrily attractive werewolf man was trying to get in my apartment. I introduced him to my baseball bat and figured that was the end of things.

I thought I’d go back to my boring, shut-in life of reading way too many books and experiencing way too little human interaction. Hum drum and ho hum.

But at least I’ve got a sister who would do anything for me. I should maybe linger on that for a second, because she really, really went overboard this time. 

She infiltrated a vampire establishment and convinced a fanged gentleman to turn her so she could cure me of my immune disorder. With vampirism, obviously. 

I give the plan an A+ for creativity, but a D- for execution. She kinda missed the part where a deadly, angry team of vampires was going to get sent after us for breaking their rules.

This is where Mr. Grumpy and Growly makes his triumphant return. He’s going to be my bodyguard slash kidnapper, whether I like it or not. Apparently, he’s the only thing standing between me and certain death. Swoon, right?

Of course he hates all things vampire. A.K.A. he will take me from undead to dead-dead if he figures out what I’m becoming. 

Thankfully, he has completely underestimated my ability to woo him with my adorable innocence, cheery disposition, and extreme powers of modesty. 

If all else fails, I could just bite him. Actually, biting is for werewolves. Maybe he’d like it more if I pulled a Dracula and sucked. His blood, perv. 

Publication date 17/4/2021

I Bite She Sucks by Penelope Bloom

My Review…….

I must have laughed through half of that book. The wit was dry and the retorts came back thick and fast.

Penelope Bloom has such a way with words. This is my first book by this author, but if they are all this funny, then I can see her books popping onto my kindle pretty soon. 

Sylvie has an immune deficiency, that makes her susceptible to any germ, so she stays indoors as much as she can, reading books, dreaming of a big love affair and having interesting conversations with her cat (with a fabulous attitude and name) 

Mr. Grumpy and Growly Aka Riggs is a lone werewolf, grumpy and surly, but always with food in his hand. He spots trouble circling an apartment and goes to investigate, he gets more than he bargains for….. 

These two meet after a misunderstanding involving a love note (it’s a funny moment and I don’t want to spoil it) and a baseball bat! 

Riggs is then keeping an eye on the girl as she smells like a she’s been near a vampire recently, well that’s his excuse and he’s sticking to it!! He keeps an eye out and is rewarded when a vamp enters her apartment building….. 

Riggs hates vampires (we find out why) and won’t tolerate anyone that associates with them. But rescuing Sylvie and her sister (and a half dead vampire!) seems like a good idea at the time. Getting the pack to agree to letting them stay that’s going to prove interesting. 

The cast of supporting characters in this book were truly amazing. 

Maisey (Sylvie’s sister) who becomes a vampire in the hopes of saving her sister, she’s so funny and compassionate. 

Riggs friend Felix is a good friend and is usually around to cause Riggs a headache. 

Then the coven of vampires which aren’t too keen on members biting humans without permission, so the sisters have been warned to leave the area or face being killed! 

The werewolf pack don’t like vamps, they will take them out if possible! 

But there is a vampire splinter group, they want to do away with the coven, and lead a better life. 

Not Riggs’s problem, he doesn’t care if both groups of vampires kill each other! 

But when Sylvie attracts the wrong attention, he’s going to have to step in and protect her! And take her back to the pack! 

It’s then a non stop ride. Internal dialogues, snarky comments thrown at one another and situations you’ll either laugh at or worry that Sylvie will meet an untimely end! Really well written and completely different from the usual vampire/shifter stories I usually read. 

If you want a laugh out loud read, then pick this one up. But be prepared to be looked at strangely (I made the mistake of reading it in the park!) My sniggers got a fair bit of attention 😂

🦋

I am leaving this review voluntarily after being sent a free book.

Published by jab1969

Hi I’m an avid reader. I also write reviews for the books I read. Come in and say hi. You can find me on GoodReads, Bookbub, and NetGalley 👩🏻‍💻 I also review on an awesome site The Reading Cafe (run by Barb and Sandy) So ........ More about me 🤨 I’m almost 50 🤫 I’ve been married (for 27 years) I have a 30 year old son. I had a daughter, I lost her a week before her 21st birthday 😥 and it’s been 5 years since she’s been gone (and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her) I work as a salad 🥗 chef 👩‍🍳 in a restaurant, haven’t been there long (before that I worked in Tesco) a large supermarket in the UK. I also like to make craft items (and if your really lucky) and I’ll try to post my efforts on here 😉 My daughter loved butterflies (so part of my blog name is dedicated to her) I’ve taken on her love of butterflies (I have several tattoos) so I’m probably going to throw quiet a few butterflies on here 😉 I LOVE PENGUINS 🐧 💕so I’m also going to be putting a few on here (my library holds a few) 😉 <img src="https://d1vbo0kv48thhl.cloudfront.net/images/featured_book_reviewer_big.png"

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